Sweet Talk and Courting Candles

February is the month of love, a time when we give small tokens of affection to those in our lives. It’s a season filled with chocolate, roses, and sweet love notes; a month when we spend extra time with the ones we love.

Roses are red, violets are purple. You’re as sweet as maple surple.

Do you remember a time when you were being “wooed” or “courted”? Many people may not even recognize these terms. The practice of pursuing may look a bit different today but, wooing and courtship are age-old traditions worth remembering and still take place in some form.

Our daughter, who is a candle maker, recently brought home an interesting candle holder from an antique store: a courting candle holder.You might wonder, what is courting and what does a candle have to do with it? In short, courting is a traditional way of getting to know someone with the intention of marriage. And the courting candle was Dad’s way of keeping things under control!

The history of courting candles

Courting candles were commonly used by fathers centuries ago to set boundaries for daughters and suitors. Although no longer in fashion, the values behind them remain timeless. The candle would be placed in the sitting room where the young couple visited. It could be adjusted to different heights, with the understanding that when the candle burned down to the top of the holder, the evening was over and it was time for the young man to head home.

A father took courting very seriously. The amount of time a man spent with his daughter was determined by the father’s judgment. If the father felt that a man showed promise as a proper future husband, he would wind the candle higher, allowing for a longer burn time. If not, the candle would be set low so that the time spent together would be shorter. A daughter trusted and respected the wisdom of her father and his ability to judge whether a man was worthy of her hand.

Today, courting candles are seen more as a decorative accent rather than a parenting tool. They sit on mantels and tables, admired for their craftsmanship and charm, their symbolism often forgotten. Yet they still whisper of a time when love unfolded under watchful eyes and measured moments.