How to Find Gratitude: Understanding a Heart of Thanksgiving

I can still hear my maternal grandmother asking the family, as we gathered around the table for Thanksgiving dinner, “Who’s going to turn thanks?” Some prayers were well-versed, some short and sweet, others a bit comical, but all were heart felt. Giving thanks may look different for each of us. We are all in different seasons and walks of life, but it’s important to understand and embrace a heart of thanksgiving.

Count your blessings

There’s an old Bing Crosby song, in a classic holiday movie, that I’ve always loved:

When I’m worried and I can’t sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small

I think of when I had none at all

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads

And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds

So If you’re worried and you can’t sleep

Just count your blessings instead of sheep

And you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings

Sometimes we face struggles that may seem unbearable. But, if we stop and search our hearts and minds, we can find something to be thankful for. 

Focus on the positive

We can develop a habit of negative thinking. It’s easy to focus on the areas in our lives that are lacking or need improvement. Before we know it, our days are consumed with complaints. Positive thinking doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes we have to make a conscious effort to concentrate on our blessings, no matter how big or small, instead of the challenges surrounding us. And then we have to take it one step further and actively show gratitude with our words and actions. This is thanksgiving. 

Who do we thank?

• First and foremost, God. Whether we recognize it or not, all good things come from above. (James 1:17) We can make life harder by not acknowledging this. But if we just submit to that knowledge and acknowledge His blessings, things will start looking and feeling better. 

• Secondly, those around us. Our family, our friends, and even strangers have all contributed goodness to our lives. From the gentleman who helped you load a heavy item into your car at the grocery store, to the loved one who is just a phone call away if you ever need something, each act of kindness is something to be thankful for.

How do we give thanks?

• Simply say “Thank you.” If someone has shown you kindness and goodness, make a point to tell them how much you appreciate them. 

• Pay it forward. Don’t let the kindness stop with you. Return the favor and do something kind for someone else. Remember, it is always better to give than to receive.

• Be a gift giver. Acknowledging someone’s kindness with a token of your affection is always nice. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant. It’s the thought that counts. Pick them a bouquet of flowers, bake them some cookies or just give them the gift of your company. Many times, quality time is all the gift a person needs.

• Be happy. Having a heart of thanksgiving should shine through, but sometimes you have to choose to walk in happiness. Through thanksgiving you will begin to feel thankful and in turn, you will find joy and gratitude. So as the children say, “Turn that frown upside down!”

Make a list

Still struggling to find something to be thankful for? Sit down with a pencil and paper and start writing. Many times it easier to first recognize the physical/tangible blessings in our lives. Begin with the simplest things. Do you have a toothbrush to use every morning? Write it down. Do you have a bed to sleep in? Write it down. Can you see, can you hear, can you read, can you write? Write it down. These simple things are often taken for granted. Our daughter is a missionary and has witnessed heartbreaking conditions. There are so many people who lack the most basic neccesities and the simplest pleasures of life. Count your blessings. Write them down.

The days when my mother’s side of our large family gathered together are now just a memory. Many of us are gone. Our own children are grown and most of them are living their lives far from home. Sadly, our busy lives and distance stretch visits with our loved ones further apart. But, whether we are together in person or in spirit, there is still and will always be a reason to “turn thanks.” 

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